OK..the begining AGAIN

Here I go again. I feel so "ready" to change everything. My attitude (me), which is basically the way I look at things; I try to be upbeat and not so negative but it's not alwyas easy. I am on a quest to build/renew and this time keep an ongoing relationship with the Lord. My appearance (my hair) as much as I try to preach to everyone that looks don't really matter to me they do. I like to look cute and turn heads just as much as the next person but I would like to think that it does not consume me.Even when I was an awkward looking or some may say ugly child people always would say but her hair is noce, it's so thick and healthy looking!! So I alwys held ontot that, then when I got to be "cute" well at least me & the males in my neighborhood and school thought I held onto that. All I need was some Vaseline (my lipgloss) and the forbidden Revlon eyeliner!! And hony child you couldn't tell me NOTHING!!! My body (my thighs) I was the "skinny" one for years, but as far nback as I can remeber people commenting on how frail and skinny I was alot of folks would follow with...but goodness she has some big thighs. So even when I was underweight my thighs were overweight *shrugs*. But now after turning 40 (geesh) and realizing that things really do change I feel like I need to get controll of this madness because it's time.

I'll drink to that!!!

I am determined to be healthy in 2011. I know I am not ever gonna starve/deprive myself of food that I enjoy but I do know that I need to improve greatly on the level of nutrition of food that I put in my body. No doubt that I must work out....it's a MUST.

I am gonna be healthy, happy and sane in 2011.

2010 showed me so much and reminded me of other things that I have taken for granted.

I don't like making resolutions but I am making changes that include me cooking more, being active alot more and becoming more in touch with my spiritual side.

Here's my toast to my health and happiness in 2011.

I hate that I love you......... food!

It concerns me that sometimes.....alot of times I eat just to eat. I know alot of people say that. But is it normal to eat when your stomach hurts? I've done that and then I'm like WTH am I doing? I think about food all the time. Alot more then most people, at least I think so. Why? I don't know. I don't like that about me; why don't I just eat to live instead of living to eat? I know I am damaging myself but some days I feel like I can't stop. I don't want it to be too late. Why is it so hard?

Why is it so easy to be BAD?

I was thinking this past weekend. Why do I still eat so bad when I know how it will make me feel? Why do I keep toying with the idea of going back to a relaxer when I felt unhappy with the overall health of my relaxed hair? It is so easy because those are the lazy ways of doing things. Eating crappy fast food is so easy and affordable. Getting a relaxer makes it much easier for me to manage my own hair. When I had a relaxer I could wash and roll my own hair every 3 to 5 days and let it air dry and just GO! Now with my transitioning hair that is not possible I learned the hard way last weekend. Whew!!! I have always been thankful to have a "headful" of thick hair (I get it from my Momma) but it is so hard to manage on my own. But I am sick of doing things the "easy" way. Eating, health, hair, life. It's not working, it's not me.

Yellow, Green, and Blue eyeshadow tutorial!

Vacation, makes me lazier

I have been on vacation all week....much needed vacation I must say. However I have been eating alot of good comfort food. I have not worked out and honestly did not even think of it until today when I decided to clean out my closet......whew!!! It took me a couple of hours and I threw out alot of clothes that I either wear repeatedly or will not be able to ever wear again. I mean I want to lose weight but I will never be skinny again and I am OK with that. But I do want to "downsize" I am tired of being "THICK & COUNTRY". I love my curves I am sure I will always have those but I want to be able to know that I can walk into a store and not have to worry too much about whether or not the pants will cover all of this without revealing too much. And my tummy must go! I can't stand it. IT bothers me tremendously. I am vowing to myself that I will do some sort of activity at least 5 days a week when I return to work, no matter what. I want my health back.....NOW.

trying to get back into it!

Ok so yesterday I POWER-walked from 1st street to 22nd street and I was TIRED!!! Super TIRED. Today I am sore! Really sore and must say I love it! I don't know why but I really do love to be sore from working out. Weird I know, but I do. I do like to workout but it is so hard to get back into it and since I have gained weight (I am at my heaviest) it is really hard to push myself to push myself during a workout. I know I need to do it and I want to do it but it is so hard!!

Always something!

I had been thinking ALL weekend how I was gonna get on track with my eating and workout habits again and shed some wight and just feel better. Well today I packed all my food and took my workout clothes. I had intended on going to a noon class at the gym on lunch....time got away from me and the next thing I know it's 12:30 ooops. So I said no worries I will workout at a church at 6....got off work @ 5:30 and car wouldn't start! Ugh, it's always something and I swear I think it's the OBESITY DEVIL! Ugh. Not giving up though.

Has being inspired

Today a co-worker/co-hair transition-er /co-blogger asked me why don't I blog anymore? I didn't have a good answer. I Think about it alot & I love it! So I shall do it. Thanks girl. It felt good that someone was actually interested in it! hee hee!

I'm losing weight again and I am still transitioning

I'm happy with my hair but not with my body. Working on me inside and out is what's it has become about at this point.